this is me writen by danielle yep im puttin it on here suck it

                      Can we start over? I’ve made to many mistakes. I let boys slip though my fingers. I let smoke come inside me first hand. I took to long to find someone to find to trust, not they no longer trust me. No one sees me for me. People take one look at me and think if they give me a bad look their face will be in the ground, or they see a cold hearted person who can’t feel. They suspect the worst. I try to change but I can’t find the support.  I want someone to take a second glance at me and see something good. I don’t want to be told I'm to big, or my hair is to frizzy,, I’m  to clumsy. I want to be known for good things. I don’t want to be known as the idiot, or the “big one”, or the druggie or the alcoholic or the desperate one. I want to be known for the good things. I may lie, but it’s to make other people happy. I may be a bitch but it’s because I don’t know how to share my feelings. I’m known as a poser but i'm not nor will ever be a poser. I don’t know why I have been placed here. I don’t know how to show my feelings. I come off as “scary” because I’m not a thin twig with the “ good looks” I’m honest when I say this, I’m going to laugh when they get fat or get there share of bad looks when they get older. I may come off as annoying but that’s because I’m bored. I may have been “emo” but that’s my past that I try not to bring with me. But there’s another thing people need to get straight, we aren’t cans, no need to label. There is no such thing as popular, they are people who think high of them selves. No such things as nerds, or geeks. No, they are smart. People hate these names, but generations, people like us, made these words. We are new we must follow our own foot steps, create new things, and take the past and put it behind us where it belongs.

            These words are from the heart. Every word I’ve wrote. Love confuses the fuck outta me. Family doesn’t even know a quarter of my life. Friendship is like a fuckin roller coaster ride. You may laugh, cry, maybe even barf. Friends that I used to be with everyday when I first moved here I no longer see them. A little chat here and there. Katie has been my very first friend since I was four. We shared everything we would welcome into each others home like a part of family Lauren, hopefully we will prove Mr. Knapp wrong and have a long friendship after high school. Life has been nothing but a battle for me. I don’t know why I think I just make things complicated. No one feels me or knows what I’ve been through. I either handle it, suck it up, or write it out. I feel there is no one I can be my complete self around. Lauren and Brian have been the closest. Brian has been there since 3rd grade. We have shared almost everything together. We have a unique relationship, neither of us regret it no mater how much people question it us about it. We probably have the strangest friendship. We’ve cried in front of each other at least once but it is usually something really big. We have a lot of on and off fights. Sometimes I feel as If I failed at life. I escape to music, no matter how corny it is, I really mean it when I say music brings out the best of me. For instance, if Billy could listen to me face to face, heart to boy mind, he might get why but he wont give me 2 minutes of his damn time unless someone was there. He will never get me. If he did he would know he would be able to trust me and that I’m able to keep secrets. But he’s to busy with other girls to give me the time of the day. Sometimes I just want to start over. I feel I should have no more regrets, sometimes it’s just too hard, either way I would always, no matter what, put other people first. No matter how much it really hurts. I feel the closer I get to someone the more they want nothing to do with me. The closer I get people walk out I understand friends come and go but I don’t think I’ll ever let go. I feel as if I was put here, in this situation, to help people let go and feel free. Then get to know them. Then maybe, I feel people get their Karma so I might want to watch myself. I want people to know to that I have their back no matter how bad the situation gets. But words have been twisted, things that are thought, but really aren’t true. Everyone has the needs to watch themselves around me. No matter how much I run I really can’t hide. I’ve learned to try to live life to the fullest, wait for “prince charming”. Scratch that, there is no such thing as perfect so I guess I wait for another guy that is actually whole sum to fall head over heals for. Like I said, I mean every word and don’t change anything bout me unless it’s for the better. might get something right. I feel the more people I know the more I get blown away. I do



                                                               - Danielle Jordan Spurgeon

google analytics?